We have all heard of the term 'friend with benefits' and know what it means, but to a lot of people this special friendship is something that is longed after for many reasons and nowadays is seemingly easy to obtain. There are numerous sites out there dedicated to matching single people and create said friendship, such as friendswithbenefits.co.uk. Sites like this, or 'adult dating sites' are designed so that you can find someone you fancy and just have a physical relationship with. This means not being tied down by all the emotional baggage that you might relate to a conventional relationship, and to not feel the pressure on what the future holds for you and your fuckbuddy. Sex dating sites only have members that want similar relationships, therefore these surely are the best place to find no strings attached sex, right? This might be true, however, to allow the new found relationship to continue without hiccups there are some very strict rules you must follow. Without these in place you might accidentally change the relationship's dynamics and lose what you wanted for so long. These rules are just our opinion and are all situated around actions that are associated with loving relationships.
RULES
1. Don't introduce them to your family This is kind of a given, but meeting any members of the family is considered to be a step towards a serious relationship and therefore doing this eradicates the agreement previously agreed. Therefore if your friend with benefits invites you to a family event you can either cross that barrier and enter into a more conventional relationship or discuss this and reiterate the boundaries of casual dating.
2. Never stay over This along with the next point is probably the most difficult as your arranged meet-up for reasons known will probably leave you feeling tired and the urge to stay over will materialize. This is dangerous territory as you will no doubt begin to form a routine from your visits and if this becomes part of it your hookup site fling will turn into something more. You both might formulate a friendship which is fine but when you are 'done' with your act of intimacy then it's time to go.
3. Never cuddle Cuddling is probably the most intimate act a couple can do in terms of a variety of emotions involved. Sex can be animalistic and purely physical, whilst cuddling allows you to connect on a variety of levels. Therefore your adult dating experience is in real trouble if this starts to happen.
4. Make sure meet-ups are not too frequent Last but not least stagger your sex meets so that it doesn't become too intense. The whole idea is to keep this casual relationship exactly that so even if you may want to see them on a regular basis, don't!
These are just in place to keep your fuckbuddy situation in check. If things naturally progress then you have the perfect situation; you have found somebody to share your fantasies with.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the most important rules for a friends with benefits arrangement?
The most important rules are: be honest about what you want, communicate when anything changes, use protection every time, do not behave like a romantic partner if that is not what the arrangement is, and end things cleanly if one person develops feelings.
Do FWB relationships need rules?
Not formal ones, but both people need to understand the boundaries. Without any shared understanding of what the arrangement is and is not, mismatched expectations almost always lead to hurt feelings or an awkward end to a friendship.
Can FWB rules change over time?
Yes, and they should be revisited if circumstances change. If one person starts seeing someone seriously, if feelings develop, or if the arrangement is no longer working for either party, it is better to have an honest conversation than to let things drift.